Cornell's biggest class

I can't stand big classes, and I don't handle crowds well. So what was I doing on Wedesday afternoon, fighting for a seat in the balcony of a large auditorium to attend a two-hour undergraduate course with 700 other frustrated, rapidly overheating students? I was eagerly anticipating the first lecture in what has long been Cornell's most popular course: Introduction to Wine. This is a course that is almost impossible for most people to join, just because their pre-registration date falls too late in the proceedings. This is a class where you are marked early if you have to leave early to go to the bathroom and where you are put into a "penalty box" if you arrive a few minutes late. This is a class that includes tastings of more than 70 wines.

At this point, I think 90% of people who may ever read this post understand completely why I would bother with this course but would, nonetheless, be happy to know that it's pass/fail only.

But apparently, as I learned Wednesday, 39% of American adults (over 21) don't drink alcohol at all. So here are some of the reasons I have for taking the course that have nothing to do with free (and mandatory) alcoholic consumption in the middle of a college class:

1. I enjoy wine and want to know more about it.


2. I want to be able to distinguish flavors among wines.


3. I want to confirm that wine experts do admit that wine does not go well with all foods.


4. I want to learn to appreciate white wine.


5. I want to get the most bang for the buck.


6. I want to say I've passed one of the many rites of passage for Cornell grad students.


7. I want to appear calm and super-smart if I ever have to meet with government officials over dinner.

I loved the first course meeting. The professor is energetic and entertaining ("Are there any of you who have never had a sip of alcohol? Come on, now; we need your seats!") We watched a video that involved both a Swiss sommelier ("Now, the narrator of this film is Swiss, and what that should tell you right away is that he will be entertaining . . .") and Whoopie Goldberg. Our $30 lab fee bought us not only samples of more than 70 wines but also a "wine kit" consisting of three small wine glasses that say "Cornell wine expert" encased by foam in a sturdy plastic box. Our textbook is "Wine for Dummies." They promised to try to find seats for all the lefties who requested them. What more could you want?!

Well, that's all I have to say about wine at this time. Needless to say, it looks like it'll be an interesting semester for me.